days pass by..n believe me der is nuthing exctitn abt it...so if ur wonderin wht kind of pathetic story m i tryin to ryt here....ur missin the point..cos im not tryin to ryt a story..m jst rytin hw i feel..
to begin with der is sumthng super wrong wid my brain...its ttly screwed...cs u knw m hvin dis weird problem...m not crushin on neone...lol..i knw bt wht i mean is...its not lik im not crushin cos ders no one to crush one...bt becos m not into the whole bf-gf thing ryt nw...n i dunno hw i feel...torn between doom n grief...its nt that tough a choice is it>??..well it shudnt be....it shudnt be...
so wht happens when the day is done??..when u sleep in ur bed n watch the prisms formed on ur pillow...wen the shadows grow close...too close....enough to haunt u...ur mind begins to wonder....wer did evryhtng go...u begin to think of ur day...review it..lik der is nethng to remember abt...bt still...u think why these things happen...n u pray tht u make it...for once...if u cud be forgiven..for once if u cud start over...n thn it finally dawns...uve made so many mistakes...no one told u its gonna be okay...n no one says it will...so wht will u do when it falls like a pack of cards??...bt w8 a sec..hasnt it fallen already...ur dreams, hopes evrythng...
day after day u grow closer to being an insomniac...u dont get ne sleep...its nt necessary...sleep is for the tired soul not for the dead one...bt the question remains??...is it tht u cnt sleep becos ur dead or u fear tht ull neva get up once u sleep....either whts the diff....point is ur too afraid...u cnt bear the thots tht come to ur mind once u close ur eyes...u hate reviewin ur day..its nt worth it....nuthngs worth it nemore....fear wont let u go...u cnt bear the screams of the dark nor can u tolerate the deafening silence..n dts why evrydy u need sumthng plugged in ur ears or a stupid old book to tire ur eyes till they finally give away...n u fall asleep as a sign of submissal....cnt hold out ne longer....
n thts why u love the night...it haunts u..bt there is nuthing to lose...u still prefer it to the sounds of ppl constantly judging u...ud give nethng to run away...bt wer??..no place is too far away frm ur soul....u cnt abandon ur self...n thts the problem....u hate urself...bt u cnt shun urself out...u cnt close ur mind frm the heart...why cnt u???....u ask urself...why dsnt the heart jst shut up...why does it tlk even aftr dying....lolzzz...too gothic isnt this??...
what m tryin to say is...future seems bleak...n m blinded by the fatal anticipation..wht if i don wanna go forward in time...may b ill fade away...may be i will....i hope n pray...to wipe out my remains frm this place i hate so much..becos u knw wt....aftr all...i wont make it thru the rain...cos i cnt stand up once again....
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