i used to b this evrshining face...n now m like this bitch who dsnt give a damn abt nethng or neone...i dont feel a thing...u can shout at me...scream nothing not a thing....i realli feel like this monster...waitin to explode...i talk to myself...i cry evry night...i don get sleep...i hate waking up...n yet m scared of death..wts left in lyf i ask myself??..wt is it that dsnt make me wanna die??...i wish i knew...i wish i turn it all around...bt i cant..no one can.....
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
row row row ur boat gently down the stream
yeah so backtrackin a bit...lemme try n give u a heads up on whts been up lately...my apologises for nt blogging so long...bt hey not like neone's reading so...movin on....first things first...i jst gve the mst imp exam of my life like 3 days ago...n belive me when i say it suxed...bt hey i knew it wud suck ryt??...i mean duh i neva studied...n rem i told u all my reasons for not studyin...i knw its super lame to screw sumthng so huge over a guy bt i cnt help it...i messed up big tym..thts the way i am..or more correctly thts the way ive becum thnks to tht scumbag...so yeah i used to be the nerd who always came first who was destined to MAKE IT BIG...bt wateva...bottom line is...wht hurts the most is tht i don even care tht i screwed up...m not sorry..nor m i happy abt it...it scares me to death thinkin abt all the humiliation ill face wen the results r gonna be out..u knw with all the ppl going like I DIDNT EXPECT THIS FROM U N ALL...n i realli donno wt ill do then..may be ill jst shun evryone frm my world....may b there will be a blackout...n may be again ill cry for days on end...ive never felt pain like this before in my life...its not physical...sumtyms i think ive gone insane becos i realli wish i cud kill him...cos i wanna knw hw it feels to bleed...
i used to b this evrshining face...n now m like this bitch who dsnt give a damn abt nethng or neone...i dont feel a thing...u can shout at me...scream nothing not a thing....i realli feel like this monster...waitin to explode...i talk to myself...i cry evry night...i don get sleep...i hate waking up...n yet m scared of death..wts left in lyf i ask myself??..wt is it that dsnt make me wanna die??...i wish i knew...i wish i turn it all around...bt i cant..no one can.....
i used to b this evrshining face...n now m like this bitch who dsnt give a damn abt nethng or neone...i dont feel a thing...u can shout at me...scream nothing not a thing....i realli feel like this monster...waitin to explode...i talk to myself...i cry evry night...i don get sleep...i hate waking up...n yet m scared of death..wts left in lyf i ask myself??..wt is it that dsnt make me wanna die??...i wish i knew...i wish i turn it all around...bt i cant..no one can.....
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