yeah so new day new face...new woes n new things to worry abt...id lov to give u a recap abt wht made me lik tht...bt its too painful..lol..no realli...i used to b dis girl with ambition...u knw...world at my feet sort of thing...n suddenly it hit me..the love bug...i mean i was this huge nerd..bt lik i said it ws a good thing out here...newys...life was good to me...it used to be...bt then college came n i screwed up big time...i fell in love with this jerk who pretended he loved me too...bt backed off when it was time to make it official..believe me m not one of those gals who thinks m being givn attention when m not..its not lik wht he did was an illusion or sumthng..no realli he wsnt a figment of my imagination...he was real..he realli cared or so it seemed...or whts the point of telling me i love u a mill times???...yeah i knw i sound like a dork...who fell for his shit...bt u knw wt..i cudnt help it..as lame as it may sound..i always wntd to be lovd...ill fall 4 neone who lovs me lik crazeee...cos i was don being alone...so yeah gettin back to the point...he ditched me...ditched me big time...he made fun of me...n abused me..mentally ofcourse...but u knw tht ws it...it changed evrything...i didnt realise it then bt he had been the most important thing to me...n poof!!!...he was gone..the problem?..i dinno hw to live without him...bt i ws angry very angry...its been two yrs since this happ but i dint call him once..never...even though u cnt begin to imagine hw much i luvd him...he crushd me n killd me...i hve no ambitions nemre...n no will for nethng...bt if u ask my frnzz they'll tell u m perfectly fine...cos u knw wat m too good at hiding wt i feel...
n now probably after readin tht m sum lame chick with a heartache ull stop readin my blog bt u knw wt its the truth i cnt change it i wish i cud...bt i cnt...bt hey u wt the point is???
i feel dead..u knw wt tht means...nothing affects me...m like stone..i dont cry n it dsnt matter wht happens...u cn throw nethng at me.....n i wnt react..ill break ur face if u try n screw with my brain...n i dont trust neone...cos i hate myself...hate myself for lovin tht b******...i hate him..n i wish he wud die...no i dont need psychiatric help...bt im just super angry at him n at myself...cos i feel like kelly.."i even fell for the stupid love song"..
i hate life evr since i hate everythng abt it........m going nowhere n i knw it...
ill probably die unavenged...n i wish i cud kill him...u wud too if i cud explain...bt its kk...i dunno wts gonna happen to me...n who knws thts why i ryt this lame blog...cos i got no one to tlk to...or worse yet...i dont hve the guts to tlk to...cos u see i hate takin help...m lik a volcano w8ing to explode...i hate this life...n i hate this side of me...the side tht has no feelings...the numb one...
one who dsnt get attracted to nethng...who has no crushes no ambitions n no desire to live...the one who wnts to die or kill...its like he broke me up inside...sumthng died within me.....oh pls don feel sorry for me....its not worth it,....m not worth it....n mre imp hes not worth the attention...this was just sumthng i thot ill clear with u...incase ur thinkin wts wrong wid her???
so for the record...its a wrong question...question is...wt is right withher??.....
people can take everything away from u..
bt they can never take away ur truth
but the question is
can u handle mine????
peace!!!
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